synonymsforjane

It occurred to me that I indeed don’t lead a “normal life” anymore, when I didn’t even bat an eyelid at the thought of having to sleepover on a bench somewhere in the freezing Taipei airport.

I had almost paid 80sgd to sleep in a capsule hotel for the night but had booked the wrong date.

People build a normal in their lives and then pass this normal down to their children. A normal, predictable life.

I can’t say I wish I had that. Because I don’t.

I like the thrill.

I like that by now, it’s not a problem for me to navigate through foreign places. After a while, you figure out the systems in a place, and you always rely on humans to provide support.

I like the mild excitement of having to work at an airport 5 hours before a flight.

I like being able to hike, dive, fly, surf, almost every day if I wanted to, without having to wait till vacation time.

I like not knowing what next month will bring.

It’s no longer difficult to deal with being away from family and friends, I’ve been on my own long enough to accept this plain truth- I was born to be a wanderer. I was meant to explore.

At least for now, “normal” has been forgotten in my mind and I don’t understand how I ever tried to convince myself it was my path to walk. I suppose when you don’t know your options, you pick the lesser of 2 sordid choices.

I fear no death.

I only fear an unlived life.