“It’s been 3 years and you’re still talking about your ex-husband?!”

Yes. I will. Because the traumatic event remains traumatic no matter how much time has passed.

To the person who ever mocked me for not moving on fast enough, shame on you.

If you can grieve about your missing cat that went missing 25 months ago, and dedicate an entire instagram page, asking random strangers to find your cat I’m pretty sure I can talk about being conned into a marriage by a man who never really loved me and only proposed to me because he didn’t want to be emotionally alone in Mountain fucking Home.

Anyway, back to recovering from trauma. I posted something on Ig and very sadly, but interestingly, 3 separate women responded telling me they were in similar situations, 1 guy also shared that his wife cheated and left.

The realisation that we are not alone, and that all of us are shaped and molded because of our circumstances….really forced me to look at my ex-husband and his current wife very differently.

It forced me to look at everyone differently, including myself.

Why do we do stupid things?

Why do we do things knowing our actions will hurt others?

Why do people veer outside of their “morals and value systems? Who are we to judge anyone?

That’s what I’m struggling to write about. I don’t wanna write about basic things. I don’t wanna write about black and white.

Because the world isn’t made up of black and white. None of us are innocent. None of us have not failed before. None of us are completely right. We have all fallen before. We have all hurt others before. We have all betrayed ourselves before.

In Singapore, we have come to such a toxic stage where we normalise cheating. We normalise getting married without understanding or agreeing why. We normalise being selfish and doing what soothes our inner child wounds. We get used to the idea that marriages get stale one day, and both parties just stay together out of convenience and fear of being alone. We fight in front of our kids. We pass the burden onto our children and make them feel responsible for our unhappy lives. And we don’t realize that all our actions WILL ALWAYS HAVE CONSEQUENCES. Karma will either get you now or in your next life. We cannot run from this.

I’m not innocent. I’ve dated people who were in relationships before. I’ve cheated on my ex boyfriends before. I’ve led people on before, even though I had no intentions to make things serious. I consider all that I “suffered” from in this life to be the result of other shitty things I’ve done before.

My point is, once I sat myself down…..and focused on my OWN actions, I started to see we are always passing energy around. Both positive and negative energy. If we don’t heal from what someone did to us before, it’s likely we will pass this negative juju onto another person, many times unintentionally!

What matters is how we evolve. And how we change our future moving forward. Because the past is in the past.

If we don’t start evolving, we continue to devolve, and in 1000 years, our history wouldn’t matter. Because we don’t exist anymore.

People don’t know how dinosaurs truly looked like. Whether they had scales, feathers, or looked more like amphibians.

In 1,000 years from now, would humans even still exist? Would the future population even know what or who humans were?

Healing from trauma is such an important thing to do. So many of our crimes against humanity, whether on a small level like cheating, to a big level like introducing weapons to a crumbling nation so you can profit off death stem from people doing bad things from a selfish point of view. Bad people exist. Good people also exist. Which side do you choose to be on?

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